I'm really unsure why, but I feel so gloomy today. You just don't feel like doing anything. Not sure if it's because of work, or it's because I've been waking up at 5 am daily. I tried to surrender everything to the Lord, but I feel so distance. It's time like this that I feel like lying in bed, cuddling myself to sleep.
Sadness? Depression? Might have something to do with my finances. I want to close my eyes to reality here on earth, yet I feel that I will let so many down. I'm not sure what to think, what to feel anymore.
I blame myself for not being able to provide.. not being able to do the basic necessity for my love ones. The burden I carry is so heavy and tiresome. Where is the Lord? Why have you forsaken me.